Save Me
by lovely in love
Summary: Harry still feels guilty for Sirius. Now, during his 6th year at Hogwarts, will he find someone who understands his pain?
1. dead

Disclaimer: jk rowling rules, and owns the characters.

"Harry, get up! Get up! Stop!" Harry was jolted awake as Aunt Petunia from the downstairs kitchen. Harry ran downstairs to get to her.

"Help! Help! Stop!" he kept on hearing Aunt Petunia's agonizing scream. While he ran down the stairs, Harry could smell death. There was no other way to explain it – Harry could sense that someone or something had just had his or her life taken away from them. Harry ran faster down the stairs and sharply turned right into the kitchen. Aunt Petunia was dead, in a heap upon the floor.

"Stop! Stop! Help me! Oh, help!" It sounded like Luna screaming. But it was coming from Dudley's room. Without a thought as to why Luna would be in Dudley's room, Harry ran back upstairs. He quickly dodged into his room, grabbing his wand. Harry sprinted to Dudley's room, threw open the door. There was Luna, dead on Dudley's bed. Her eyes were still open, so cold. Harry slowly walked to the bed and closed Luna's eyes. Harry felt the rage he had been trying to suppress all summer building up inside of him. He had to find out who was killing.

"Harry! Help me! Save me!" Harry ran from room to room, finding Hermione, Mr. Weasley, anyone he had ever cared about dead in his house, Harry coming moments too late to save any of them. Tears were filling his eyes. What was happening? Why was everyone dying?

Harry stumbled down to the floor by the staircase. He looked to his hands.

They were covered in blood.

The room was darkening. He saw Ron walking up the stairs to Harry. "Hey, mate. What's going on?" Ron asked.

Harry wanted to ask Ron what was happening. But his mouth wouldn't work, wouldn't form the syllables. Disjointed, Harry stood, watching himself pull up to Ron and take out his wand.

"Harry? Harry! What are you doing? Harry? Harry!" Ron yelled as Harry pulled out his wand.

"Crucio!" Harry heard himself scream as Ron crumpled down to the floor, dead. His blood pooled around himself and Harry.

Harry had killed Ron. He killed everyone. Everyone was dead. Harry had killed Ron like he had killed Sirius. Harry turned around and saw Fred and George screaming, he turned back to the stairs and saw Hermione yelling in pain. He kept on turning and turning, dozens of his friends and family kept screaming around him as he heard that cold, chilling laughter of Voldemort.

"You know how to kill, Harry...you know that you will become me...and kill. Everyone you ever knew will be dead. Because of you, Harry," explained that frigid voice.

"There's still time," thought Harry. He could still defeat Voldemort, couldn't he? Harry pulled out his wand, prepared to duel with Voldemort. He turned towards the robed figure behind him. "Crucio," he muttered, exhausted with grief. The figure slumped down to the floor.

Harry walked slowly to the body, and pulled down the hood.

He was looking in to the cold, dead eyes of Sirius.

Harry slowly keeled down with exhaustion. Disbelieving his eyes, disbelieving his hands. But he had killed. And it was all his fault.

Harry slowly turned his head up, and screamed "Why me?"


	2. running

"Harry!"

Harry could hear Ron's voice from very far away. He then opened his eyes – he was in his bunk at Hogwarts.

"Harry!" Ron yelled again.

Feeling a deep sense of relief, Harry responded, "ya?"

"Harry, we're going to miss McGonagal's class! We slept through breakfast, by the way. Stupid buggers not waking us up..." Ron muttered as he tried to put on his tie and talk at the same time. "She has got to be so sick of us missing it over the years, so we really, really ought to try and make it on this time, right? So let's go!"

Ron finished tying his tie, and stood there, tapping his foot impatiently.

"You go ahead," said Harry. No need to make Ron late like he would be.

Ron ran on ahead, while Harry pulled on his clothes. He felt absolutely horrible. He was exhausted from the nightmare. And it had seemed so very real, Ron falling to the ground, Hermione, Luna... Harry shuddered, finished dressing, and then ran down the hall to McGonagal's class room.

"Oof!" Harry fell to the ground along with someone else. "Sorry, sorry," muttered Harry.

"That's alright," Harry looked up to see Luna Lovegood. "I was running to charms, and I wasn't paying attention where I was going. Are you alright?"

"Ya, I'm fine." Harry watched Luna stand up. She was so graceful, not tripping over her feet like Harry would have. She picked up her books, and then offered Harry a hand.

"Thanks." Harry said, standing up. He stood staring at Luna for awhile, remembering how she looked when she was dead. He shivered at the thought

"W-well," stuttered Harry, after staring at her for a while. "I need to get to class. Pleasure running into you, Luna," Harry smiled at his unintended pun.

"Bye, Harry."

Harry was halfway down the hall to Transfiguration before he heard Luna's uproarious laughter. He smiled and ran the rest of the way to class.


	3. class

McGonagal was in the middle of lecture as Harry flew into the room. The class snickered as Harry pantomimed sneaking oh so quietly into a chair next to Neville. He knew McGonagal would forgive him – she always had.

"Harry Potter," sighed McGonagal, turning around from the diagram she was drawing on the board. "Late for your first class, as always. Your excuse?"

"Sorry, professor," was all that Harry said as McGonagal resumed her lecture.

Hermione and Ron sat together at the table across from Harry and Neville's. Hermione questioned Harry with her eyes. He shrugged in response.

"Today, class, we will continue work on our distinguishing spells. Now with these spells, one can find what a transfigured item was originally. Although these spells are complicated," McGonagal said, eyeing the class, "they are very useful in a wide array of situations, and I'm sure you all are _competent_ enough to handle the challenge."

Harry watched as Hermione looked at Ron. Ron turned back to her, grinned, and shrugged his shoulders. Harry looked back to McGonagal as Hermione was trying to stifle her laughter.

"Now I will hand each desk a transfigured item, and I want each pair to classify its previous form, transfigure it to its original form, and then change it into the form you got it in. We will trade objects throughout the classroom until this period is over. I expect a 2 foot essay by the beginning of our next class together on what you have learned over this past week. Now get to work." McGonagal passed the transfigured objects throughout the classroom.

Harry and Neville received what appeared to be an alarm clock. Hermione and Ron received an apple. Other members of the class got several tissues, quills, a cauldron... One table even got a talking parrot.

"Well, let's get to work than, shall we, Harry?" asked Neville, pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill with which to take notes.

Harry worked the rest of the class period, but he kept drifting in and out of what Neville was doing at their table. Once again Harry was thinking of Luna dead in his dream...

Harry was roused back to alertness by a small dog licking his face. It was black and shaggy, looking familiar to Harry. He was stunned to realization that it looked like Sirius in puppy form.

"Well," said Neville. "That was certainly creatively disguised. And now to turn it back..."

"No!" Harry shouted, causing everyone in the room to turn back and look at him. Hermione looked at him with concern and McGonagal ushered him up to the front of the room.

"Everyone, back to work, please," said McGonagal as she watched Harry slowly walk up to her desk, bringing the puppy with him so that Neville wouldn't have a chance to change it back.

"Well?" asked McGonagal.

"I just..." started Harry. He couldn't think of what it was he wanted to tell McGonagal, of how to tell her why he couldn't bring himself to get rid of the dog.

"Yes?" prompted the professor.

"Well, look at it," said Harry. "I can't."

McGonagal slowly nodded her head in agreement.

"I see what you mean, Harry, and I won't mind if you keep it in your room. But, please, do not disrupt the class again."

Harry smiled in appreciation and went to go back to his desk, sure that all problems had been resolved. McGonagal stopped him with an arm and a worried look. "I would appreciate it if you saw me after class, Harry."


	4. thoughts

_Author's Note: thanks to the people who reviewed. I really appreciate it – it makes me want to write!_

_This chapter and the one after it probably could be consolidated into one long chapter, but I think they fit better as two separate (if shorter) chapters._

_And now, onwards to the story!_

The class slowly emptied as Harry cleaned up his table.

"Harry," said Hermione as she walked to Harry's desk. "Do you want Ron and me to wait for you?"

Ron explained, "We really wouldn't mind it, Harry."

Harry looked up at McGonagal, who was watching him. He really would mind if Ron and Hermione could listen to McGonagal talking to him. Even knowing that they would be waiting out there for him after whatever McGonagal had said would be horrible.

"No, that's alright," said Harry, trying to muster a smile and failing. "I don't mind if you two go ahead."

Hermione looked worried, "Harry, really, we—"

Harry interrupted, "Why is everyone worried about me?" he demanded. "I will be fine, thank you Hermione, now please go."

Hermione and Ron exchanged glances that Harry found infuriating.

"Seriously," he said. "Just go on ahead."

"We'll see you in herbology, than, mate," said Ron, leaving with Hermione in tow.

As the two walked out the doors together Harry slowly pulled himself up and off of his chair to drag his feet towards McGonagal's desk.

"Harry," she started, coming up from her desk to walk towards him. "I know that you are frustrated right now. I know that you blame yourself, and I know that you are worried. But the best thing to do right now is to relax, forgive yourself, and let everything fall into place."

Harry looked up at her. He was about to tell her that she was right, but than thoughts of his dead friends, his dead parents, everyone dead because of him. Harry morbidly concentrated on every single feature of the people in his dream. How Luna's skin turned gray, how Hermione's hair covered her face.

The puppy ran up from where Harry had forgotten him underneath the desk. He tugged at Harry's pants. Harry looked down to the stone floor to watch him.

"Now, please, go ahead to class. I've already sent notice to Professor Sprout about you being late. And remember, Harry, there are always people to talk to you."

Harry left the class and took the long way back to his dorm. He set up arrangements for the puppy, leaving a bowl of food and water that the house elves had apparently set up on the floor.

"Now be good," he muttered as the puppy pounced upon Harry's bunk. Harry stopped to rub over the pup's fuzzy head as the puppy closed his eyes in comfort. He yawned a great big yawn and closed his eyes as Harry continued to pet him. Harry stayed, petting the new puppy and thinking about Sirius.


	5. snorggle

A/N Sorry guys – I just started school last week so I've been doing homework. Physics. Ugh.

The red drawn curtains displayed the sun sinking down to earth. The sky turned a deep orange, changing to purple, blue, black. Harry opened his eyes. He hadn't even realized he was falling asleep. Harry dismissed all thoughts of missed classes as he watched the shaggy puppy attack the covers of his bed.

The puppy jumped up, startled, as Harry's stomach loudly growled. Harry looked around the room. It seemed as if everyone else's bunk was filled, the curtains around each bunk closed. Harry stood up, and peered into Ron's bunk to see if his friend was asleep. Ron uttered a great big snore while Harry snickered under his breath.

Ron started to mutter in his sleep. "mmble mione mmblms...YOGURT!" Ron shot up in his bunk, and then fell back to his bed, his head hitting the pillow with a resounding thud.

Although Harry found this all very entertaining, he decided to sneak off and fill his stomach.

Harry grabbed his invisible cloak and map while the puppy quickly fell back to sleep, his legs twitching in the air.

Half way down the hallway to the kitchens, where Harry was sure the house elves would give him something, Harry saw Luna Lovegood wandering down in a robe to the prefects washroom. He followed her, intrigued. She wouldn't be allowed in there.

Luna walked up to the room, mumbled under her breath and flicked her wand. She then entered the washroom. Harry followed her, wondering what she was doing.

Luna turned on the bathwater, watching dreamily as the entire room filled up with steam. She started to loosen her bath robe while Harry watched transfixed. Luna stiffened, turned to face where Harry was standing in his invisible cloak. She looked into where Harry's eyes would be, starting to smile. Harry tried to keep his breathing silent, wondering if she could see him in some way. He waited for her to say something.

Instead she turned around, dropped her robe to the ground and got into the bath tub. Harry stared at her perfect body and tried to mentally give himself a cold shower.

He should leave. Harry edged towards the door. He really should leave. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. There was Loony Luna, sitting naked in a bathtub, and he really ought to leave.

"I know you're in here," said Luna, stepping out of the tub, the water glistening on her body. She wrapped a robe around herself and grinned. "I don't mind. I also don't mind talking to you even though you probably won't respond."

She walked towards Harry, who was near the doorway. Luna looked into Harry's non-visible eyes again.

"I'm sorry," she said, whispering, staring at him with her luminous eyes. "I really am sorry."

She wrapped Harry Potter into a hug, comforting him as he relaxed, and then cried. He let his sadness and fears seep out of him as he hugged Luna back.

"I understand," she said, whispering again. Luna drew Harry's hood back and looked into his eyes again. Harry's breathing was ragged.

She stood on her tip toes. Harry just watched as she slowly, slowly moved closer and closer to him. Eye to eye, she watched him watching her.

"You know," she said, smiling dreamily, "a Snorggle would have been quieter than you."

Luna walked off back to her chambers, leaving Harry thoroughly mesmerized.


End file.
